


Ed Nygma: Professional Overworker

by MagikMask



Series: My Gotham Fixation Needing an Outlet [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Edward Nygma Needs a Hug, Established Relationship, Intersex Ed Nygma, M/M, Mayor Oswald Cobblepot, Mpreg, Not Canon Compliant, Riddle Factory bc I want, Season 03, Unplanned Pregnancy, Yup that’s the fic, but not compliant like AT ALL, just fluff, non-graphic childbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29795553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagikMask/pseuds/MagikMask
Summary: “Once the election had been won, their time spent together outside of work dwindled. Ed wanted to maintain a purely professional work relationship, with a separate home relationship, the last thing they needed was gossip columnists at their door. As a result, their relationship, affair, whatever it was called, was entirely behind closed doors.Unfortunately, not for long.”
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot & Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: My Gotham Fixation Needing an Outlet [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181909
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

The second Ed had the certificate in his hands he felt immensely powerful. As he saw the black car roll up, and Oswald step out, he immediately walked up and hugged him, taking in the scent of his cologne, or more accurately his shampoo given the height difference. 

Once they were in the back of the car, Ed finally broached the question. "So why exactly did you get me out of Arkham?" He asked, nervous that he would now owe his friend, well, more than friend, a debt. "All will be revealed tonight. Don't worry, nothing bad." 

It did little to calm Ed's fears. 

Despite the very public announcement he very much wished he would've been briefed on before hand- he wasn't exactly good at speaking on the spot- he still had to appreciate Oswald's flair for the dramatic and he didn't mind his employment as campaign manager.

That night, as the camera men left the mansion, it was just Ed and Oswald, and they took the opportunity to... indulge. 

Oswald gently grabbed his hand, giving him a sincere happy smile, a rare occasion. Ed smiled back, and after a moment shared listening for passerby's, they quickly closed the gap between them, hands in each other's hair, trying to close the gap between their bodies as well. 

"Goodgod..." Ed muttered under his breathe, feeling his hair get tangled from where it was sliding against the pillow. He felt the wet lips of the man on top of him, barely able to manage a sloppy kiss as the orgasm shot up his veins. Oswald was there a minute or so later. As he rolled off, they shared a chaste kiss, both managing to catch their breath. "God I've missed you..." Ed heard himself admitting, quickly blushing and pretending to look for his glasses. 

"I missed you too Ed." Came the light voice, making him stop what he was doing and look at him with a small smile. 

It had hardly been their first time doing this- As Oswald had spent weeks hiding in his apartment and recuperating, it definitely gave the men the opportunity to get closer, and it gave Ed an excuse to no longer sleep on his couch. 

Ed had figured that Oswald had forgotten about him after he had his stint in Arkham, but they were a perfect match, which is hard to forget, and Oswald’s letters and gifts made the last few months of his “therapy” all worth it. 

Once the election had been won, their time spent together outside of work dwindled. Ed wanted to maintain a purely professional work relationship, with a separate home relationship, the last thing they needed was gossip columnists at their door. As a result, their relationship, affair, whatever it was called, was entirely behind closed doors. 

Unfortunately, not for long. 

It started with excessive exhaustion throughout the day, Ed waking up one day to a gentle push of a cane on his shoulder, startling awake from his bent over position on his desk. His glasses were smudged but it was clearly Oswald, frowning in concern. "Did you not get enough sleep last night?" Ed rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up quickly. "I thought I did... though we were up all night." He muttered under his breath. "I'm sorry, I can get someone to grab you a coffee." The younger man curled his nose at the thought, shaking his head. "Then I'll be up all night." He excused, not wanting Oswald to grow concerned over the real reason: the thought of coffee made him want to puke. 

Oswald sighed and relented, "you're going straight to bed tonight. Right after dinner." He ordered, though it didn't exactly have much of a threat behind it. Ed nodded, yawning a bit, "if I can even stay up until dinner."

It was supposed to be a joke, but after two more meetings, he almost fell asleep in the car ride home and then immediately crashed in the bed, suit completely on, still not waking up until an hour or so before his morning alarm. He should've been starving, given the fact that he hadn't eaten dinner, but all his stomach wanted to do was reject the food he had already eaten. 

It thankfully wasn't a mad dash, Ed closing the door quietly and turning on the shower to drown out the noise before sticking his head into the toilet, quickly gagging and throwing up a horrible mix of bile and a bit of his sandwich from yesterday. After another gag he felt the nausea pass out of his system, getting out whatever he needed to get out apparently. He flushed the toilet and brushed his teeth before actually getting in the shower. By the time he was done, Oswald was up, looking through the large closet. 

"Love the View." He teased as Ed walked out with the towel around his waist. "Good Morning to you too." He responded, eyelids still a little heavy as he still hadn't had any coffee.

The coffee Olga made still made him sick, rejecting it in favor of a small pastry on the table as he read the newspaper, always doing his best to stay informed. Oswald came into the dining room and sat next to his partner in crime, giving him a kiss on the hand. Ed blushed and smiled, grabbing his notes. "You have a visit to the new school library, a meeting with an architect and then with the city council, and then lunch and then Margaret is leaving for maternity leave so there will be some sort of cake, and then the afternoon is mostly citizen meetings and paperwork." 

Oswald took a deep breath and nodded, somehow already feeling tired just from listening to it, Ed looked worse though. "Are you okay? You still look a bit tired." Oswald asked, grabbing his hand gently. Ed smiled, though it was a tad forced, "I slept for nearly 12 hours. I can't be tired." He said with a light scoff, sighing. "I probably just have a small cold. Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I'm invincible." Oswald nodded and grabbed a pastry. "Well don't overwork yourself today okay?" 

It was hard not to overwork himself, he had to be present at all the mayors activities in addition to keeping the rest of the large staff in line. By the time lunch was around he found a dark cabinet and set an alarm on his watch for an hour, taking a small power nap in place of lunch. He was rudely awoken by Oswald's shout, the man having opened the closet after hearing the beeping from Ed's alarm. 

Ed groaned and stood up, Oswald catching his breath, "oh my god I thought you were dead, why were you in the closet?!" Ed blocked out the light as his eyes adjusted, sighing, "I was trying to take a nap, I felt like I could fall asleep standing up." Oswald gave him a hug, just thankful he was okay before going to the conference room for cake. Margaret was relatively nice, and one of the few people competent at her job. Ed never understood why people had kids, she was clearly uncomfortable. He stood behind the mayor as they made their greeting rounds, saying hello to the woman in question as she offered them cake. 

Ed could feel his face pale as the smell of the cake brought back the nausea from earlier that day. "No thank you." He strained out, pushing the plate gently away from his nose. "Don't like icing. Too sugary." He said, frowning as Oswald took a slice regardless. He knew the other man didn't know... but still. Ed left to get a cup, well several cups of water, chugging it down in hopes it will help with the nausea. "Here." Ed turned around and looked down at Margaret handing him an alka-seltzer tablet. "This'll help." 

He tried to form a How and a Why but was just moving his mouth soundlessly. She chuckled a little bit, "you think I don't know nausea when I see it? I'm pregnant and have another little one at home. I know that face." Ed nodded a little bit and took it with a thanks, filling up the water again and dropping it in. She was right, it helped, but he still waited for Oswald to finish the cake before returning to his side. 

The rest of the day dragged on, Ed eating his lunch while the mayor had his private meetings, relieved that at least his classic sandwich didn't make him feel sick. 

At least at the time- every morning he would still throw up the sandwich. For about a week he was just functioning, barely awake, barely eating, and then crashing on the bed. He didn't want to tell Oswald and scare him, the man was already anxious enough. It was just the flu or something, that didn't mean he didn't have work to do. By Friday his entire body was aching, wanting to do nothing more then lay in bed. 

He got up and felt like he was moving like a turtle, slowly shuffling to the bathroom to brush his teeth and comb his hair, shuffling back into the bedroom to get dressed. Oswald gasped a bit as he looked at his partner, all pale and skinny and tired. "No! No work today!" He demanded, grabbing him by the shoulders and awkwardly pushing him onto the bed. "Oswald there's so much to do I-" "I can go do those things in my own. You're Not the only one who knows my schedule." A toxic part of Ed was devastated at being told that Oswald didn't need him to function.

He leaned down and kissed his forehead, Ed wanting to protest but also so relieved he could just spend a day in bed. "I'll have someone send a doctor over, just to make sure it's just a cold or something." Oswald assured him, relishing in the opportunity to take care of his partner, who was always so self sufficient. 

With another soft kiss Ed snuggled back under the duvet, quickly falling asleep and waking up to a breakfast tray Olga left on the nightstand. He spent most of the day doing research in medical books, assuring himself that it was nothing more than a flu. 

As it progressed into weeks, Ed started to get more nervous, as was Oswald. Throwing up in a plant, in the bathroom of city hall, still sleeping through dinner and sometimes lunch. 

It had remained mostly private, neither of the men wanting to show weakness to their conspirators that evening over dinner, but Barbara had an annoyingly attentive eye. She had worked out that they were shacking up almost instantly, the more intimate eye contact and subtle smirks... she missed looking at someone like that. 

Through out the dinner, Ed kept pushing his food around, barely talking since his lips were pinned shut, a small line of cold sweat on his forehead. In the middle of Oswald's explanation of his next scheme, Ed quietly excused himself to use the bathroom, jogging once he thought he was out of sight. Barbara frowned, Ed never missed out on planning, especially since he was such a dedicated note taker. She frowned and followed him after a minute, following the sounds of splashing and gagging to the upstairs bathroom. She opened the door and filled a glass with water, sitting on the bathroom tile. 

Ed turned around and looked up, feeling somewhat relieved to see Barbara and not Oswald, and then confused. "Why are you here?" "I'm a hot young socialite who went to an Ivy League, you think I've never had to hold a girls hair back before?" Ed scoffed a bit and sipped at the water, cleaning out his mouth before spitting it into the toilet. "What's got you so sick Eddie?" 

He rolled his eyes at the nickname but sighed, he needed to confide in someone at least. "I honestly don't know. It's been weeks. I get nauseous so easily and I throw up daily, I'm exhausted and lightheaded..." he was so tired that getting all this off his chest made him want to cry. "Not to mention the waterworks..." he added, roughly wiping at his eyes. At this she perked up, raising an eyebrow. "Sounds like a really bad period, is there something you're not telling me Edwina?" She teased, poking his shoulder. "No Barbara I'm not secretly a woman... I'm a carrier but-" his face fell, eyes widening as he felt like he was just punched in the lungs. 

The blonde smiled maniacally, giggling a little bit. "Oh did poor Eddie get knocked up?" She asked with a laugh. Ed snapped and grabbed her arm roughly, covering her mouth with his hand. "Shut up! Could you imagine what would happen if that rumor gets out?" He hissed, quickly pulling his hand away in disgust as she licked his hand in a rather childish but effective tactic. 

"It's not a rumor if it's true." "It's not! It- it can't be, I haven't even-" "oh don't even try to tell me you and pengy haven't been getting it on. You're so obvious." He flushed and stuttered a bit, not liking how Barbara was suddenly privy to all of these secrets. "You clearly aren't handling this well, that's fine, but you either need to get rid of it or get some help because you look like you're about to keel over and die." She pointed out, pulling him in front of the mirror to look at himself. 

He definitely looked sick, that was for sure. "Now come on, they're gonna wonder where we went." She said, giving him a mint and pushing him out of the bathroom because honestly, she did have to pee. 

Ed awkwardly walked back to the table, sucking on the mint. He sat down next to Oswald and smiled, the man giving him a quick summary of the plan before conversation moved elsewhere. Ed did his best to fill his stomach, still somewhat in denial over the recent revelation, staring down Barbara as she walked back to her seat with a little smirk pointed in his direction. 

After the dinner was over, Ed grabbed his wallet and keys, assuring Oswald he was just going to go for a short drive to clear his head. Upon walking into the pharmacy, he grabbed two pregnancy tests, wearing a hat, coat and no glasses to hopefully disguise his appearance enough. He bought the tests and a water bottle, quickly rushing out to the car. 

He hid the tests underneath the sink behind some cleaning supplies, so hopefully Oswald wouldn't find them. They stayed back there for a few days, Ed promising himself that at the end of the week he would take them. This was just a very busy week and he didn't need a possible future child on his mind. He arrived home before Oswald, who sent him home after once again finding him asleep at his desk. Ed hung up his coat and dropped his side bag in the kitchen, smiling at Olga. "Good afternoon Olga." He said, grabbing a glass of water to settle his stomach down from the car sickness. 

"Poor baby. Still sick?" She asked in her broken English, patting his shoulder. He nodded and sighed, "unfortunately. Still not sure what it is." He said with a nervous laugh. "Yes you do." She said, looking up at him, Ed looking everywhere else to avoid her gaze. "You buy test. Why not take it?" He panicked and stuttered, nervously picking at his hands. "It was just a suspicion." He squeaked out. Olga nodded and shrugged, "you will find out soon anyway." She said with a shrug, poking at his lower stomach. 

Ed tensed, feeling himself get protective and covering the area with his hands, feeling his heart rate pick up as it felt a bit firmer and more pushed out. Quickly he grabbed the water and walked upstairs to the bathroom, quickly tearing open the box and shaking the stick out, reading all of the instructions. After doing the necessary step, he sat both tests on the counter, looking at his watch and his reflection, reading the box. He tried to distract himself, fixing his tie and his hair, looking back at the tests to see if they were done and doing a double take. He slid over and grabbed the two tests, staring them down. Two small plus marks. 

His heart pounded, struggling to catch his breath. He slowly sat down on the floor against the bathtub, making sure he wouldn't faint. He couldn't stop staring at them, tears streaming down his face. Ed honestly didn't stop crying until he heard the front door close, signaling Oswald or one of his goons was home. Quickly he wiped his eyes and looked for a place to hide the tests and the box, quickly just shoving it into his rain boots, leaving the bedroom to try and find Oswald. 

He found him in the kitchen with Olga, walking up to him and kissing him gently. "I missed you." He said, smiling as he kissed back. "Feeling better?" "A bit." He lied. 

Looking down at him, the idea of telling Oswald terrified him. He knew he wouldn't be happy about it, maybe he should just get rid of it somewhere like Barbara suggested. At the same time, all he wanted was a little mix of them and the white picket fence. He knew he had changed a lot, but his fantasy was still somewhat the same. 

It might even fix itself, if his math was right he was only 2 months along, it was still entirely possible he could miscarry, especially with his active life. Then what was the point of telling him really, if it wasn't even for sure yet?


	2. Chapter 2

As the days turned into weeks, Ed was getting better at hiding it, the worst of the nausea seeming to have passed and his appetite slowly returning. Of course as symptoms left, new symptoms came, like cravings and back pain and constant bathroom breaks and stupidity. Yes, unfortunately Ed was facing the worst that pregnancy brain had to offer, which was making it difficult to seem normal. He was known for his quick intellect and riddles, and when he was entirely blanking on the answer to his own riddle in front of the councilmen, he absolutely wanted to leap out a window.

Of course feeling stupid would always cause the hormones to ramp up, resulting in 10 minutes of his day wasted in the bathroom trying to cry it out. Oswald either didn't notice or didn't mind the odd behavior from his partner, appreciating his robot of a man showing his human faults for once, seeing it as him opening up.

In fact, Ed was more closed off then ever. They hadn't been intimate in weeks, Ed nervous that he'll notice the changes to his body. He also spent a lot of time at the library, reading baby books to try and prepare himself. Eventually, he knew Oswald would notice. Oswald set a date to have a nice dinner together that night, promising a surprise. Oh he had no idea.

Ed knew he didn't have long until he would have to tell him. The bump was large on his small frame, and it would only get larger. He could only hide it with large sweater vests for so long before the weight gain was obvious. Ed walked downstairs for dinner, smiling at the large feast and Oswald pulling out his chair for him. Ed fiddled with the tests in his pockets, trying to keep calm.

For awhile they talked about their day, all the stupid people they had to talk to. Eventually, the conversation died down and they ate quietly. "I know that all the duties of mayor have been keeping us apart some. I'm sorry for that." Ed shook his head, "no it's my fault." "Both of our faults," He cut in. "Regardless, I wanted to spend a night with just us." Ed smiled and drank from his water cup. "I also have something I'd like to ask... We've been together for quite awhile, and ever since that first night at your place I can't shake the feeling that you are the one for me." He said with a broad smile. "You're my perfect match."

Oswald stood up and took Edward's hand, walking him outside. Ed gasped a little bit as he looked down and saw Oswald on his knee in front of him, holding a small box. "We don't have to do it soon... I just... want you to know that I'm staying here forever. No matter what. Edward Nygma... will you marry me?" He said with a bright smile, looking up at the younger man who felt like he was going to faint.

He needed to know, he needed to know what he was signing up for by asking him this. Edward needed to tell him, but all he heard come out of his mouth was "Of course!" As Oswald put the ring on and hugged him tight, Ed frowned from over his shoulder, cursing himself for being so weak.

Ed should've been happy. He was engaged, they ended their dry spell last night, but he was entirely depressed, because he knew it would end soon. He skipped breakfast and lunch, not due to nausea, but so the weight gain would slow down some. Every day it was getting harder to button his slacks, and he needed to buy some time.

By the end of the day, he was dragging his feet. Little sleep and no food wasn't the most pleasant combination, and standing in the hot factory wasn't helping. As Oswald spoke into the podium's microphone, he felt his ears tuning out, closing his eyes a bit and quickly opening them. He shuffled a bit to keep his balance, small black and white spots infiltrating his vision as he scanned the crowd, feeling his body get heavier and heavier until his knees gave out under him and he smacked to the floor.

Ed awoke in the ambulance, looking around deliriously and panicking. "Oh god is the baby okay?" He asked one of the EMT's, grabbing his arm. "You're pregnant?" The young man asked, Ed nodding desperately, "yes almost three months." "We'll See if we can get a fetal heart rate monitor at the hospital." He nodded and tried to calm down for the sake of the baby, still slipping in and out. He turned his head and his eyes widened as he saw Oswald's frozen face next to him, mouth agape and staring at his stomach, eyes moving up to meet his. Ed's eyes quickly rolled back into his head.

He didn't wake up again until he was in the hospital, looking around and finding that he was alone. He knew Oswald would be upset, angry... he'd probably come home to his things on the lawn. Before he could even rub the sleep from his eyes he started to cry, sitting up and sobbing into his hands. He didn't even get to tell him the way he wanted to, and now he probably thinks he was hiding it from him, which he was, but not forever.

As he fell deeper into his sobs, he felt a hand on his back, jumping and smacking the hand aggressively, seeing Oswald with a cup of tea as an offering. He was fully expecting the other man to strangle him right there. He took the tea, sniffing it a bit for any obvious poison traces. "You really think I would poison you?" Ed shrugged a bit and took a sip, feeling his throat loosen up after the crying. "I'd understand why you'd want to." He mumbled, wiping the tears from his cheek. "Please, I'm sorry, it wasn't intentional. Please don't... kill me." He sobbed, barely audible.

"Of course not." Ed looked up confused, "love, you're carrying my child, protecting it and helping it grow. Just as I thought I couldn't Love you any more." The younger man tried to understand but couldn't help the tears from bubbling over. "Oh Ed..." He whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed and holding him tight. "I know we never talked about kids but that doesn't mean I'm not happy." "B-but you don't like kids. You hate visiting the school..." "But I'll love our kid. I do already. It's something we made, together." Ed smiled and nodded, crying into his chest as all the different emotions being magnified by the hormones made it hard to stay in check.

Eventually, he was able to take him home, demanding that he take a quick break from work before returning. Oswald was now determined to take care of his partner properly with all the right vitamins and superfoods. After the hospital he ran him a bath, obsessing over the bump, which he was embarrassed to admit he hadn't even noticed before now.

Ed found the affection odd, since he had never exactly been fawned over before, barely by his own parents. It was definitely something he hadn't realized he needed. After the bath Oswald put lotion on his hands and slowly rubbed his back and feet, kissing him intermittently. Oswald held him close afterwards, feeling incredibly protective over his string bean klutz, who (for some reason) god deemed the proper vessel to carry his child. The older man knew the challenge in front of him regarding getting his partner to take care of himself, and keeping those who meant harm away, but he knew it was worth it.

Said klutzy behavior made Oswald incredibly nervous. Watching him go down the stairs, cook, anything where he could hurt himself made him paranoid. And of course Ed would get annoyed by the hovering and it would devolve from there. Ed enjoyed the pampering but definitely missed being the only one to know.

Shortly after telling Oswald, the baby decided it was growth spurt time, making Ed's clothes more and more difficult to get on in the morning, and making the pregnancy more and more obvious. He knew they would have to make a public statement soon, especially after Barbara spread the gossip to most of the underworld. As he walked into the kitchen for the monthly criminal conference, everything felt tight, Barbara jokingly whistling a little bit. He glared at her and sat down at the table, feeling the most strained button pop off his shirt as the bump pushed out. Ed felt his cheeks get hot, quickly covering it with his suit jacket which wasn't large enough to cover the bump either.

"Looks like our new little mama needs to go shopping." Barbara teased, receiving a cane knife to the throat from Oswald. "Relax, Just teasing... you're positively glowing Ed." She complimented, making the head of the house slowly put the cane down.

"Well as I'm sure you're all aware by now thanks to Ms. Kean's large mouth, yes, I am pregnant. Yes it is Mr. Penguins and no it does not mean I will hesitate a second longer to put a bullet in your head if you think this makes us any weaker." Ed explained, glaring down the rest of the table before letting Oswald continue.

Toward the end of the dinner, Ed had cleared two plates and was starting to nod off a bit, slowly standing up as Oswald dismissed the guests. "I know a great decorator for kids rooms. Did my sister's kid's nursery and it looked great." Butch said, doing his best to be amicable and hand over the business card, Ed giving an awkward thanks.

After spending their off day getting some better fitting clothes, the couple knew they had to address the rumors before much longer. At a Monday press conference, Ed stood behind him, arms strategically placed to cover the bump. "We also have one last announcement." Oswald began with a smile, slowly reaching out for Ed's hand, who felt entirely too visible. "Well, two, my chief of staff Mr. Nygma and I would like to announce our engagement... as well as the arrival of our first child." He said with a smile, Ed slowly moving his arm to reveal the rounding out of his lower torso.

Cameras were quickly flashing off as journalists scrambled to ask the next question. "How long have you been together?" "Since last year." "How far along is Mr. Nygma?" "14 weeks." Ed answered into the mic quietly, squinting out at the flashes. "Are you planning from stepping down as chief of staff?" "Not currently no."

After a few minutes the press secretary called it, Ed and Oswald returning to the office and locking the door. "I don't even want to think about what's going to happen next." He sighed and rested a hand on the bump, trying to calm himself down. "It's all going to be fine angel. If anyone even thinks about hurting you we'll send an army after them." He assured him, kissing his forehead softly, encouraging him to sleep in the big chair while he went to his meetings.

The political couple received their fair share of congratulations from Gotham, as well as a few insults from the more traditional members of society, having more of an issue with the gay relationship than the child. It was slightly weird that everyone knew he was pregnant now. He wasn't allowed to stand behind Oswald at conferences or meetings, always being told to sit, he was always being schmoozed with sweets instead of alcohol, something Oswald tried numerous times to stop.

At a Gala, Oswald watched 4 different plates of pastries land up in Ed's hand. On the 4th he walked up and took a piece off of the plate. "What are these?" "Just little cakes. They're really good." He said with a smile, taking another bite. "I can tell... you've had four." Ed frowned and looked at the plate, glaring at him with some pretty fiery eyes. "Have you been counting?" "Well-" "you've been counting my sweets! How dare you!" He snapped, Oswald wincing and trying to quiet him down a bit. "May I remind you I'm growing your child so I sincerely apologize if I've put on a few." He spat, sniffling and marching off towards the bathrooms, but not before smushing part of the cake against his nose.

"Wow. Real smooth." Selina said, stepping next to the mayor. "I was just trying to make sure he was eating healthy." "By practically calling him fat? Good call." She snarked back, smoothly grabbing the wallet from his jacket pocket. "Just apologize. He's probably hiding in the bathroom." Oswald nodded in agreement and walked a few steps before feeling for his wallet and frowning, turning around and the girl was no where to be seen. Dammit.

Of course he did find Ed in the bathroom, wiping his eyes and nose with his green handkerchief when he walked in. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything, I just want to make sure you're getting a good mix of healthy food and sweets. Here, some carrots and ranch." He said, passing over a small little plate for him.

"I know you didn't mean it. I'm just really insecure about my body right now. I feel huge and disgusting and my brain says you think I'm disgusting too." He explained quietly, a fresh round of tears spilling over onto his cheeks. Oswald slowly took his glasses off and set them on the sink, gently wiping the tears away with his thumb and kissing his lips. "You are so beautiful to me. And you will be beautiful, even when you're waddling around and I have to help you stand up and go down the stairs. I promise that there will not be a moment of our time together where I won't find you beautiful." Ed gave him a watery smile and hugged him tight, walking out arm in arm with him.

As Ed returned to work regularly, he still felt a bit scrambled, always having to find people and keep things in check. He was definitely feeling a bit overwhelmed, but that wasn't going to slow him down. As he speed walked through the lobby and started up the steps, he felt a cramp roll over his stomach, leaning onto the banister. "Nygma?" Ugh, he recognized that gruff voice. "Jim! How can I help you?" He asked with more of a grimace than a smile.

Jim frowned and walked up to him, "are you okay?" "Fine! Just fine." He said, letting out a shuttering breath as he pressed his hand against the bump. Jim kept his distance but stayed close, on some level still worried about the man who was once somewhat of a friend. Slowly the pain receded and Ed took a slow breath, turning to trudge back up the stairs. "Hey maybe it'd be a good idea to sit down." Jim said, following him up, he had a meeting with the mayor anyways.

"Can't control me Jim." He Bit back, finishing his climb and walking over to his desk, trying to blink away the twisting vision of the room. "I know I can't..." Jim muttered, opening the mayors office door. "Your fiancé is on the verge of passing out." Oswald immediately jumped up and ran over to Ed, who quietly growled at the cop for exposing him. "What have I told you about overwork.." The ringing tuned out his partner's scolds, Ed glaring at Gordon who was just smiling happily. He made sure Nygma was okay and annoyed him with one fail swoop.

Safe to say, the incident was the topic of discussion that night, Oswald continually pointing out that he wasn't taking care of himself properly. "We don't even have a doctor Ed, or a proper ultrasound. You overwork yourself to exhaustion and then don't eat dinner. If one more incident happens at work I am going to have to fire you." Ed huffed at him angrily, stabbing his fork into the table. "You can't tell me what to do!" He shouted, standing up and quickly getting dizzy, falling back into his chair.

"Ed. You are not well. You're in a delicate position and you will be for a few months. I need you to take care of yourself." Oswald practically begged, sitting next to him and cupping his face. "If anything happened to you two I don't know how I could move on. I need you both to stay safe and healthy."

Apparently Oswald was more serious than Ed had thought, having woken up to a large breakfast plate. "You are going to eat every bite, and then you are going to go to bed, and then you are going to have every bit of your lunch." Ed rolled his eyes a bit. It wasn't like he hadn't been eating at all... just not regularly.

Ed sighed and did as Oswald told him to for a week, honestly just not having much energy to complain, and he was feeling better. The only downside of eating as he was supposed to, was that the bump was growing quickly, Ed feeling like every time he looked down it had grown. As it grew larger, Ed became reluctant to go out at all, feeling like an absolute freak.

When the last of his new button ups didn't even fit, he resigned to walking around the house in just his undershirt and a robe to further hide his body. The pregnancy hormones were making the thoughts louder, constantly plagued by reminders that he was hideous, a freak, disgusting, unloveable.

He had reached a state of depression he wasn't entirely sure was possible, spending most of the day in bed, trying to get some work done from home. As he heard the front door open and close he sighed and sat up in the bed, brushing out his hair and putting his glasses on, trying to appear somewhat normal.

Oswald slowly opened the door, a sly smile on his face. "I've noticed you've been a bit down, so I got you a surprise." He whispered, pecking his cheek, helping him stand up (as the bump has consistently gotten in the way) and walking him to the basement. In front of him was one of his least favorite interns, tied and gagged in a chair. "Thought you could use something to kill the time." He said, gently handing him the crowbar. "Don't over exert yourself. Listen to your body." He added with a quick peck, standing back and letting the love of his life go to town.

After showering the blood off, Ed definitely felt out of his funk, until he put his glasses on and caught sight of his body in the mirror. He felt huge, four months and he looked more like five. Stretch marks littered the underside of the bump, and his nipples had turned a dark purple color, as well as his chest painfully swelling up. He felt the hot tears roll down as he stared at himself, mind picking apart every single issue.

Oswald called and walked in on him, looking up at his partner as tears streamed down his face. "Darling... my dear, what's wrong?" Ed did little more than point in the mirror, self consciously wrapping his arms around the bump.

Oswald hugged him, determining that soothing his partner was worth getting his clothes a bit wet. "Edward... you're perfectly fine. I know you're a bit bigger but that's just the baby." Ed pulled away from him and covered himself up with a towel, wiping his face and going to get dressed. He never liked when Ed got silent, jumping just as he heard a loud "SHUT UP!!" Come from the closet. Oswald knew it wasn't at him, but still carefully approached his fiancé. "I know it's hard but you have to tune them out. They are wrong."

"That's the worst part..." he said with a weak laugh, "they're not." Oswald shook his head and gently held his head in his hands, making him meet his eyes. "They are wrong. You are gorgeous, and I think you're gorgeous regardless of how big you are or how many stretch marks you have. I love Ed, not just your body."

"If I didn't love you why would I have gotten that guy for you to torture?" He asked, smiling as he got the other man to crack a small grin. "I know that logically there's no reason to assume you don't love me but... it's been very difficult to stay logical." "Of course it is, you're pregnant and you've had a very hard few months. I'm going to take you to a doctor tomorrow, and she'll tell you the exact same thing, that you are the perfect size." Oswald assured him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips and then another on the bump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I’m not happy with this section at all, srry


	3. Chapter 3

"160. What were you before?" She asked, writing the weight on her clipboard. "145." She nodded a bit, "15 pounds... maybe a bit over the mark but you're pretty skinny regardless so it will probably do you some good." Ed glared at Oswald, the man avoiding his gaze, knowing exactly what he was angry about. He was fat! Oswald lied to him!

"You said you were 18 weeks?" She asked, moving up his shirt and feeling at his stomach. "Yes. I'm sure." She nodded and hummed to herself, taking out measuring tape and measuring around and from top to bottom. "Are you sure? Couldn't have been earlier?" Ed frowned and shook his head, "no, that was the first time I had had... relations in months." She nodded a bit, writing it down in her chart. "Just making sure. Your measurements are a bit larger than what we'd expect. Probably just some extra water weight, thinner mothers tend to carry more water to support the baby." She explained, plugging in the ultrasound machine.

As if Ed didn't already feel huge, now he literally had proof. He unbuttoned his pants as instructed and shivered a bit as the gel was spread over his stomach. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to look, but the screen was turned away from him anyways. "Ah! Just as I thought." She said with a broad smile, pressing the wand into his stomach a bit more and turning the cart around. "Baby 1 and Baby 2." She said, pointing at the two different blobs on the screen, though the features slowly revealed themselves as a head and body and legs.

"Twins?" Ed asked, unable to take his eyes off the screen or even blink. "Yes! Congratulations you two." She flipped a few switches and both heartbeats suddenly came through, bumping fast and just out of sync enough to make out two beats. "Do you want to know the sex?" They both nodded, still a bit speechless. "Well baby A is a girl and baby b... can't quite make it out." She said, moving the wand around to get a better angle. "Well it seems like baby B is being very modest and won't show us, sorry." "Thats okay." Ed croaked out, smiling shakily and feeling the tears slowly drip out, looking over at Oswald who was crying as well.

"Let me get some photos printed for you two before you leave." She said, hitting a few more buttons and then turning the screen off, both of the men shaken out of their trance.

Once they were in the car, Ed couldn't stop staring down at the little babies in the picture. He didn't like how real everything just got. "People, two little people." He said, still trying to make sense of it. "A girl, and a mystery." Oswald added, putting an arm around his waist. "A riddle, if you will." Ed joked, flashing a grin. "Twins... are you sure you want to stay at work? People won't think you're weak, there's two babies inside you."

Ed sighed and pressed a hand on the bump, "I'm going insane at the house Oswald. I swear I'll limit my activities and eat lunch..." "I know... You can come back to work Monday, but if anything happens I'm sending you home until you have the babies." Ed rolled his eyes a bit, realistically both of them knew Oswald couldn't keep Ed from doing what he wanted, but now he had a new vigor to take care of himself and protect these little things in him.

His return had gone relatively smoothly after getting some new suits tailored (with a lot of elastic) and Oswald secretly telling the staff to come to him with issues and not Ed.

When he entered his fifth month a few weeks later, he was feeling even better, finally feeling like he had his regular energy back. As he walked into Oswald's office, he stopped in his tracks, frowning and looking down at the bump. The older man jumped up and hobbled over quickly, nervous at his partner's behavior. "Ed what-" he placed a concerned hand on the bump and he felt it, the quick pushing at the skin from the inside.

"Did they just?" Ed nodded and tried to cover his smile with his hand, but Oswald quickly removed it to kiss him, pushing him into his chair and kneeling in front of him, feeling two different thumps happen on both sides, presumably from both babies. They both stayed there for a few minutes, consumed by the first real evidence of their babies' personhood.

The door squeaked open and both men looked up, Jim Gordon standing there with an eyebrow raised, "found the leader of that new smuggling ring, thought you should know.." he said awkwardly, Oswald quickly standing up and walking over, Ed trying to get out of the plush chair and struggling somewhat. "Thank you Jim, now if you don't mind." He said tensely, wanting to return to fawning over his fiancé.

He gave an awkward smile goodbye as he left, Ed finally managing to stand out of the chair. "Dear god, he saw me floundering around like a turtle on their back... I have officially lost all intimidation." He said with a huff, heading out of the office before Oswald grabbed his arm, kissing him softly to cool him off. "The only thing that deserves your attention is the babies, not Gordon." He reminded him, Ed nodding a little. He already ruined the man's life once, twice would be overkill.

As he got his regular energy back, and learned how to deal with everything, things remained relatively normal. Work was so-so, and he could tell that Oswald was getting bored. "I like the power... but it doesn't serve a purpose." He huffed in bed one evening, Ed wiggling around and trying to find a comfortable position, the bump getting too heavy to lay on his back.

"I don't think anyone would be surprised if you quit. The next election is years away, and your skills just aren't being used." Oswald nodded a bit, "maybe I'll say I'm leaving to spend more time with family. It's partially honest." Ed shrugged a bit and laid on his side, looking at his partner. "I'll go along with whatever you're planning." He replied tiredly, somewhat trying to end the conversation so he could sleep, unfortunately Oswald continued to think out loud for most of the night.

They had spent a few weeks together securing their foothold in Gotham's underworld before announcing his resignation, as well as plans for a new nightclub. Most things came full circle after all.

There was a lot of planning to be done, and as news about the twins spread further, questions about names and the nursery were coming up more and more.

The nursery had been painted but empty, and Ed quickly ordered that they repaint the room a different color, because the shade of green was wrong and entirely unsuitable for their children.

Oswald and Ed were shocked at how much Ed sunk himself into the designing process, it was his one job now after all. He never much cared for decoration when he lived on his own, but he wanted his babies to have the ideal room to grow up in. Once the room was repainted, they ordered the furniture and some builders, needing two of everything of course. Ed tried to stay on the cheaper side but Oswald would not hear it- finally his money could go towards something that mattered.

By the time Ed had reached his six month it was complete, though a bit barren of toys and clothes, which they could push off. He slowly sat down in the rocking chair, picturing one child on each leg as he read them stories, he couldn't wait. He smiled and tried to push himself out of the chair, but it was a bit too low to the ground. After a few attempts he caught his breath and sighed in defeat, calling out for Oswald.

After a few minutes he came in, frantic and panicked. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked, hobbling over. "I can't get out of the chair." He admitted, avoiding his eyes. The shorter man chuckled a little bit and nodded, grabbing his hands and pulling him to his feet. "Thank you." Ed mumbled, pushing up his glasses and blushing. "It's fine. It'd have to happen at some point. It's not the end of the world to need help." "Easy for you to say if you were in my position you would've sat there all day before asking for help." He huffed.

"Ah well, that might be true. But I'll always be happy to help you." He said with a soft kiss on the cheek. Safe to say, Oswald hadn't seen the half of it.

Having Ed out of work was a bit dangerous, because he would always find a way to keep himself busy. There were only so many riddles he could write before he got bored. He tried to get people to play along but they were never very willing.

He couldn't exactly go back to his old ways of killing time, as much as he hated to admit it he was far too incapacitated. Oswald tried to keep him busy with record keeping and other underworld matters, but it wasn't holding his interest. Most of the time he would just go back to his baby names list, picking off the ones he didn't like, hoping he would end up with two. Statistically it was more likely that it was two girls, so he only had a few boy names on the side.

"Y'know Nygma, you might want to start a betting ring, baby names, weight, sex, could be quite profitable." Barbara brought up, bringing over two drinks and a water, slipping into the booth. "I'd rather not make even more of a spectacle of myself than I already have." Ed grumbled into his water, Penguin shaking his head, "no it could be a great idea! We are the Kings of Gotham after all, people care and we can make good money."

Ed gave him a nervous look, sighing and throwing up a hand. "Sure, whatever, don't care..." "aww is Eddie depressed?" He growled at her a bit, "no I am not, I'm just not thrilled about the idea." "Of course you are, all cooped up in that mansion while two beings suck the life out of you. You've been pouty all night don't deny it." She retorted, raising an eyebrow. "You need some fun."

He sighed, "maybe you're right, but it's not like I can do much. Torturing men that have been brought to me on a platter isn't exactly thrilling." Oswald frowned, he was doing his best, but he knew Ed needed more. "I know it sucks but it's just a few more months, and my club is opening soon that should be fun."

Ed tried to seem happy, but Barbara was right. He was depressed and he didn't see much of a way out of it until the babies were born. "I have an idea! Riddle night, at your club. Get it right, get a prize, get it wrong..." she trailed off, a small smile on her face. Ed perked up, "That's not a bad idea Barbara... what do you say?" He asked Oswald, grabbing his hand. "As Long As you don't overwork yourself I don't see the issue."

Once the club was ready to open a few weeks later, plans for the large grand opening were underway. Oswald never did anything quietly after all. Ed helped him take the promotional pictures and did most of the guest list, kept to sitting-friendly tasks. Unfortunately, he was barely able to fit into the booth, demanding Oswald unscrew it from the floor so he could push it back.

The twins were definitely taking a toll on his body, more so than before, because now they were big and moving and kicking, and he was still constantly hungry. Oswald walked over and slid into the booth, pecking his cheek, "how are my three troublemakers?" "Well two of them are killing the first one so not great." Ed mumbled, laying his head in his hand. "I can't sleep, they're constantly moving, I can't get up but I can't sit down for more than three minutes I-" he stopped himself, turning away because he wouldn't let himself get worked up in public.

"Do you want a ride home?" He asked softly, holding his free hand. "No, he wants to bitch." Barbara said with a loud scoff, slipping into the booth. "He needs to vent and complain about all the crappy stuff he's going through." She continued, looking to Ed who looked down but noticeably nodded. "Pengy go do whatever it is you do and leave him with me." She assured, waving him off.

"So, what sucks, cankles, backache what?" She asked, taking another sip of her drink. "It sucks because I want a drink and I can't have one but if anyone deserves it it's me." He replied snidely, taking a sip of his water. "It sucks because even though these things are already huge I'm hungry all the time but I can't go waddling off to the grocery store in the middle of the night and I can't very well ask anyone else. I can't sleep through the night at all anymore because I have to use the bathroom every five minutes and they're nocturnal."

He leaned forward onto his hands and sighed pitifully. "I just want it to be over." "It's just a few more weeks Eddie, you can count down the days. Twins usually come early anyways." "They do?" He asked with a frown. "Well there's less space, the body can only take so much." Ed nodded and swallowed nervously. "As much as I want them out I'm not exactly thrilled about the process of getting them out." He explained, nervously fiddling with his pen on the table. "Well you've probably had your fair share of cramps and practice contractions, they can't be that much worse."

Ed nodded again though he didn't really believe her. Those pains were awful but he knew they could be worse. "Thank you Barbara, that definitely helped." He said, briskly returning to his work.

Opening night was... stressful. They both had new suits tailored, Ed throughly embarrassed by how big his jacket was. Oswald made sure Ed stayed sat at the booth until they opened when he actually would have to walk around for an hour.

As the doors opened, Oswald helped him to his feet and gave him a quick kiss for morale, greeting everyone as they came in one by one. After the first thirty people had arrived, Ed's back was killing him, and he was doing his best to try and support it and rub it discreetly, not wanting to seem weak in front of the best of Gotham's underworld. After the room had filled out with people, Ed quickly retreated to the booth, pressing his hands into his back and trying to lessen the pain.

Unfortunately being sat down wasn't seen as an exclusionary move, and he unfortunately wasn't done talking to people for the night. People tried to get clues on baby names for the betting ring, asking him about the babies and Oswald, far too personal for his taste. Some even tried to touch his stomach, and he did not hesitate to twist their arm half way out of their sockets. Moving through the party to get to the bathroom wasn't exactly fun either. People were far too close and the air was hot. Once he squeezed into the bathroom he caught his breath, fixing himself up a bit in the mirror and using the bathroom.

On his way back through the party he got pulled over by Oswald. He asked something but the music was too loud to hear. Ed squinted and frowned as he was shoved by a few passerby's. This was a lot. He felt his heart rate pick up and the babies start to kick, Ed making a quick decision and shoving his way through the crowd trying to find the door. He just needed air.

After running/waddling into the hallway, he leaned up against the wall, catching his breath and groaning as his stomach cramped up, probably from the quick movement. "Come on!" He hissed, trying to breath through it. Oswald soon came through the doors, looking him up and down. "Are you okay?" "Too much." He groaned, waving him away. "What's wrong?" Ed huffed and just grabbed his hand, squeezing it until the cramping subsided. "Too much, for all of us." He breathed out, gesturing to the club. "Well you've already said hi, let's get you home." Oswald said softly, gesturing to Gabe and telling him to take Ed home.

He softly ran his hands up and down his back, Ed sighing, "I feel awful." He mumbled, Oswald shushing him. "It'll be fine. No one will judge you." He nodded and sniffled, slowly walking to the car with Gabe.

Oswald was nervous about letting him go through with the Riddle Night plan, especially after opening night. Ed tried to calm his fears before resorting to begging, he needed this one good thing before the babies came.

He worked all week on the riddles, getting a new suit jacket made for the evening, and even made the punishment wheel himself. It wasn't horribly violent, not that their audience cared much. They were Narrowsfolk, and the reward was worth the risk for them.

On Friday morning, Ed woke up with the same familiar pressing at his throat, the digging nausea. He couldn't get up fast enough so he threw up in the small trash can by the bed, groaning and sipping from his nightstand water.

He grabbed the bed post and pulled himself to his feet, stumbling a bit, his center of gravity off. Looking down from above the large bump looked about the same, but as he awkwardly walked to the bathroom, it was clear they had shifted, the bump rounder and lower, making it awkward to walk around and get ready. He put on some normal clothes for the day, struggling a bit with his pants as the babies pressed out wider on his hips.

He sat down back on the bed, groaning as his back flared up, the tense pain spreading up his spine. Once Oswald was up he rubbed the offending muscle for a bit but it didn't help much. His hands were kneading into it for most of the morning. He managed to find a somewhat comfortable position at his desk, leaning forward with the bump between his legs, but after awhile it seemed to just drag the flare ups into his stomach, the bottom and sides beginning to flare up with pain along with his back.

Of course, the set wouldn't be complete without the babies kicking into his ribs and pushing their head up against his bladder, almost making him soil himself at the kitchen counter after a particularly offending kick. As the babies squirmed and wiggled and the back pain persisted, spreading into his stomach, Ed was desperate. He squirmed in his desk chair, whining and feeling a bit childish, trying to think of some way to help.

He eventually was able to get up and boil some water for a hot water bottle, leaning on the counter as his back flared up again, slowly shifting his hips from side to side, hand digging into his back. Olga walked in and frowned, patting his shoulder. "What's matter?" She asked, looking for something around the kitchen to help. "Back pain, it's fine I'm making a water bottle." He explained, eyes still pinched closed.

She frowned skeptically, "Baby's coming?" "What? No! No, shh, you'll freak out Oswald." He snapped, "it's just some back pain, I'll be fine."

Once the water was boiling he poured it into the bottle, sitting in the large plush chair in the living room and putting it on his back. He moved it a few times, trying to get it to soothe all the offending muscles. It was difficult to position as the flare ups were slowly moving into his belly, him kicking his legs and pressing the pad against the bottom of his stomach as it seized up, spreading around. Dammit that one was awful.

Looking at the clock, he called out for some help getting out of the chair, walking upstairs with Oswald so he could shower and get ready. The warm water directly on his skin helped somewhat, but he still had two flare ups in the shower. As he stared at himself and the bump in the mirror, he ran his hand over it. It was more of a sphere than it had been, and lower like he thought. He winced as the babies squirmed around a bit, one of them pressing up uncomfortably on his pelvis, forcing him to take a wide stance when walking.

As he looked at the glittery suit, he wondered if he wanted to cancel, because he honestly just wanted to lay in bed with ice cream. At the same time, he had worked so hard, and they didn't have another week to wait around. The babies would be here any day, and if these pains got more regular they could be here tomorrow.

Ed swallowed nervously and shook those thoughts away, putting on the new suit, which was still too tight despite just being measured a few days ago. Oswald came upstairs to fetch him, smiling and kissing his cheek. "You look perfect, even if this..." he gestured to the very sparkly jacket, "is a lot." He finished with a laugh.

The shorter man helped him down the stairs and into the car, thankfully not commenting on the heavy waddle. Ed slid into the car and took a deep breath as the pain started up, this one almost entirely centralized in his stomach. He groaned and rubbed at the underside, Oswald quickly growing concerned. "Just practice." Ed breathed, squeezing his hand. "Promise..."

Oswald nodded nervously since he wasn't about to argue when his partner was in pain, just opening a cold water bottle and rubbing up and down his back.

By the time they reached the club, Ed seemed to be more excited, and Oswald relaxed. He was fine. The club was still a lot for him, so he just mainly sat in his booth, away from people so he could deal with this pain in private. "Eddie! It's the big night!" Barbara squealed, sliding in the booth along with Tabitha and Butch, Victor Zsasz sliding in on his other side. He was surrounded and hot and bloated and ugh. People. "Yeah, big night." He said with a slight smile, drinking his water and just trying to breath through the pain with a solid face.

"What are you gonna ask?" Tabitha asked, frowning as Ed pressed his chin to his chest and held up a finger, trying to breathe through his nose and get through it. "Oh shit." Tabs said, scanning him up and down. "What? I'm fine." Ed quipped back, catching his breath and letting out a bit of a groan. "Zsasz get Penguin." She ordered, Ed gripping Victor tight so he couldn't move. "I am fine, just practice, no need to overreact and get him to cancel everything."

Barbara frowned, "it's your funeral, I think a live birth on stage would be exciting!" She said, patting his shoulder. "I'm not having them any time soon, relax." He insisted, though he knew he was only trying to convince himself.

The clock was moving at half speed, having to wait around for two hours before he could start his show, and the pains were coming quicker and stronger. As he hid by the wings, groaning and gripping at a table, he had resigned that he was in labor. The contractions were all in his stomach now and he was able to time them. 9 minutes apart. Hour long set... if he timed it when no one was looking at him... He sat down on a stool to think and immediately stood up again, the pain in his hips were way worse than in his feet, he'd just stand.

After quietly groaning and breathing through the contraction, he was pointed out on stage. Ed quickly regained composure and wiped at his forehead, placing his new hat on and spinning the cane. "Welcome. Ladies, Gentlemen, Others, to the Riddle Factory!" He announced, the lights coming up on him, the wheel and his three participants. "What time is it?" He shouted out to the audience, hearing an unbelievably satisfying "Riddle Time!" chanted back at him.

"The rules are very simple- I am the Riddler, I ask a riddle. If they get it right, they ask me a riddle- if they stump me, they get this cold hard cash. If they answer wrong..." He gestured to the large wheel.

"As I am of course in a delicate state, all punishments will be inflicted by our own Tabitha Galavan." She gave a gentle wave to the audience and their three players. "Let's start shall we. Easy, what's green and red and goes round and round?" Riddler scanned three audience for knowledgeable faces, "30 seconds."

The man was clearly confident, "duh, a traffic light." The host smiled slowly, looking to Tabitha, holding his fist in the air before giving a thumbs down to a loud buzzer, "oh dear, I'm afraid our answer was Frog In a Blender... and on our first go too." He said with a sarcastic click of the tongue. "Oh well." He said, spinning the wheel and smiled as it landed on Nail Off. "Oh my favorite. See here Ms. Tabitha will remove your fingernail, with a nail!" He said, gesturing for the spotlightto move over to them as the gruesome deed was done.

Using the darkness of the stage, he faced away from the audience and tried to breathe through the contraction, but it wasn't helping like all of those dumb books said it would. A few minutes later, the deed was done, but that left him less time to ask the riddle and get the blackout- this wasn't timed very well. Thankfully the next contestant got the answer wrong too. Absolutely pathetic.

"Last one left, let's see how far you get hmm?" As the pain rose up in his stomach, he tried to keep his voice from sounding as strained as it felt. "I happen only once yet I'm celebrated every year. My creator is not celebrated but rather the product, what am I?" He asked, flipping the sand timer and desperately trying to breathe through it, almost panting. It was clear he wasn't doing well, as hard as he played it off.

"Uhh," came the nervous voice of the participant, "uhh... Birthdays! Birthdays!" He called out, Ed smiling wide. "Yes! Correct!" He shouted back, face screwing up as a weird sensation tensed in his stomach, soon feeling water gushing down his legs and onto the floor. "Speaking of birthdays.." he said with a weak laugh, freezing and not entirely sure what to do. Oswald rushed to the stage as fast as he could, but not before the worst contraction yet ripped through him and he fell onto his knees, screaming out.

The crowd gasped and whispered even more, Oswald and Tabitha kneeling next to him and helping him through it. As it passed Butch pulled him to his feet, Oswald helping him out of the club and to the elevator. "Why didn't you say anything?" He asked, thinking back to the numerous indicators. "I didn't want the show to be cancelled." He admitted, "I just wanted one thing before they came."

On his way out of the elevator another contraction squeezed around him, Gabe letting out a sigh. "If he has to walk all the way to the car he's never getting there." He said succinctly before scooping Ed up like a stack of newspapers and carrying him out to the car, Oswald blushing in a jealous and ashamed way, unable to be a proper father, at least in the strength department.

Once Ed was carefully placed in the backseat, Oswald laying him down on top of him so he could hold him for support, screaming at Gabe to drive. As Ed fully processed what was going on, they were going to the hospital, he was having their babies tonight and oh fuck- He screamed out as the pain returned, longer and stronger every time. "I can't- I can't-" he cried out, shaking his head.

Oswald gently pet his hair back, kissing his forehead, "if there is anyone who can do this it's you. I know it's scary but in a few hours it will all be over and they'll be in our arms." Ed did his best to think of that, the future, after this was over, but the image was getting fuzzier with each contraction and each pothole.

Eventually Oswald's calming words were getting on his damn nerves. "Just-" he coughed as Ed grabbed him by the tie. "Don't you dare tell me what to think or how to breathe so help me god I will throw you out of this car." He growled, Oswald nodding quickly and gasping as Ed let go. "God... always the neck..." he wheezed, Ed slapping his arm a bit and grabbing it in desperation.

As Gabe ripped around the corner, the familiar red and blue lights turn on and Gabe sighed, jerking the car into an alley to lose the cop. "What the hell Gabe?!" Ed shouted, almost falling off the car seats. "Sorry, cop tailing us. You did tell me to drive fast sir." Oswald let out a frustrated shout-growl, looking out the back window. Now it was two cop cars and a familiar brown sedan. "Oh great, now you're raising attention. Just get to the hospital."

Gabe had to admit, the mix of screaming and sirens was making it a bit hard to focus, Ed definitely had a set of lungs for a typically quiet man. As he got onto the major road, the cop cars closed in, shooting out the back tire, forcing Gabe to pull over.

"Sir- oh dear..." Oswald stepped out of the car, closing the door and glaring at the officer, "I swear to god I will have you fired this instant! Do you know who I am? That idiotic look on your face says you do!" "Hey! What's going on here!" Oswald tensed in disgust at Gordons gruff shout, prepared to unleash hell. "One of your dumb sheep tried to pull us over and shot out our tire!" "Well they were speeding I didn't know it was them-" the young officer defended.

Jim held his hands up to shut them up and then an awful scream came from the car, Gordon rushing over, more so expecting to see a torture victim and not Ed laboring in the backseat. "Shit..." he whispered. Ed panted as the pain let up, turning his head and glaring at Jim. "Great, Just the man I wanted to see on this special day..." he droned. "Now as a citizen of Gotham you've vowed to protect, GET ME TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL!" He screamed, trying to move and get out of the car.

"Jim what's- oh lord." Lee began, brain quickly taking in what she was seeing. "Can you walk?" She asked rather unsympathetically. Ed nodded a little bit, trying to stand from the car with help from Gordon, letting out a low groan as his knees buckled. "Oswald- Oswald the babies are coming." He blurted out in a panic. "I know darling we're going to get you to a car and to the hospi-" "No, like now, no time." He squeaked out, falling on his knees to the pavement as the pain tore through, and he felt the head between his pelvis.

He tried to scream but he was losing his voice, Lee quickly ordering the two strongmen to put him back in the car after the contraction, and began to strip him. "What are you doing?!" He asked in a panic, feeling the cool air hit his legs. "Baby's coming right? Where do you think they leave?" She snapped back, still not fond of him as a person, a murderer, but he was still a patient.

The two other cops ran to get supplies from their cars, putting up a blanket over Lee and Ed, Oswald sitting in the drivers seat to hold his hand. "Okay, pushing time." She said, ducking beneath the well placed suit jacket to see. Ed leaned forward as he pushed, his attention going from the pain of the contraction to the sensation of the baby passing through him. As his ears stopped ringing he took in Lee saying she saw the head already, Ed nodding a little.

He had read about the ring of fire in books, but he really couldn't have pictured this. He screamed out desperately, tears streaming down his face and almost breaking Oswald's hand. "Okay, we have the head, just the shoulders now. Don’t Push, we have to wait for the baby to turn.”   
  
And turn it did, Ed couldn’t even describe it it felt so weird, “Okay, now some last few push- oh no here they come." She called out, the baby quiet for a moment before letting out a soft wail, Lee quickly wiping them clean and wrapping them in a blanket, handing them to Oswald. "Baby girl." She said with a smile, Ed crying and laughing a bit, reaching for her before the next contraction came just as fast.

"Oh god, what-" "it's twins." Oswald said, "thought it was in the papers or something." He shrugged away, trying to spread his attention between his spouse and their new daughter.

The second baby, though it took a bit longer, was not hesitating either, being born just a few minutes later. "A boy! Girl and a boy." Lee said, smiling and wrapping up the screaming, wiggling creature. Ed gasped with relief, instantly reaching out for him despite his exhaustion. "Hello there." He said, grinning ear to ear and gently bouncing the tiny thing into a calmer state. A few minutes later, after passing the placenta and cutting the cords, the ambulance showed up.

Getting out of the car was a painful nightmare, everything about this day had been a painful nightmare. Ed held the small girl and boy in his arms, taking in all of their features, cooking up the perfect names. "Anne Nomaly Cobblepot." He said softly, Oswald beaming up at him from the awkward bench in the ambulance. "I love it. And her brother?" "Patrick Culiar Copplepot." He replied, gently playing with the tufts of baby hair. "No Nygma?" "Psh.. Nygma's not a real last name anyway. Left home, made it up. You have a better family line anyway." He explained with a shrug.

Once they were settled in the hospital bed, everyone else had gotten there before them, and here they were, rolling in with the babies. "What?" Barbara bluntly asked, tilting her head. "They were a bit impatient. Couldn't wait for me to get out of the car and to the hospital... no thanks to the GCPD." "We got pulled over for speeding and Ed had them in the car." Oswald summarized quickly to get everyone up to speed, inviting them to come look at the actual babies.

For at least a few minutes, Gotham's most notorious criminals did nothing but coo and gush over the next generation of Gotham's Underworld's Royal Family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently rewriting this, not super happy about it but here’s the last part. This fic isn’t nearly as long

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I’m currently rewriting this fic so it’s just... better lol and more canon compliant- as compliant as it can be- but it’s gonna have a different plot so I figured I should just post this one, and a few of you said you wanted it so, here you go.


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